


I Am Human

by JohnConstantine



Series: I am Human [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:32:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnConstantine/pseuds/JohnConstantine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine tho if Meg came back and she found out Cas was human and she consented to being cured so they could be human and grow old together and make babies and punch Metatron in the face - Based on headcanon fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Remember me

He didn’t know where he got that photo.

He actually didn’t know much about anything anymore.

But it was back in the hospital, where she was his caretaker, not paying attention to him when he snapped the photo on his disposable she’d given him after he woke up.

He just happened to go through it, suddenly needing the device after the Fall, and then he saw the picture of her, tucked behind the default wallpapers.

He expected to be sad at the sight, everything else was crumbling apart and why not feel some other horrid emotion for her?

But somehow, he was happy. For the first time in a long time. Just looking at her in the photo, in her nurse scrubs outside in the garden with a cigarette, her face with that seemingly bored look she always had.

It brought an odd smile to his face.

He spent that day looking at that photo, remembering her. It wasn’t a sort of  grieving but more just…missing her.

Odd.

His favorite memory, of course, besides their kiss, was when they were waiting for the Winchesters to come back to the hospital.

He had bothered her for hours, writing her poetry and just overall being a nuisance. But she put up with him, faking an interested smile as she read her magazine and pretended listened to him banter over bees and other insects.

She was different and he liked that, she wasn’t heartless, dark, and she was quite helpful.

 _You’re not supposed to like demons_.

But he  _did_  like her, and he missed her.

And he was still smiling, something strange she managed to make him do a lot.

Letting out a sigh, he shut off the small device and threw it across his small room, blinking at the walls, remembering a simpler time.

Remembering her.

And smiling.


	2. Cure me

She didn’t exactly know what to expect.

She was out one night, laying low, when she saw the Fall. Thousands of angels, all bright as stars, were hurtling towards the planet like eternal fireworks.

 

She watched as halos burned out around their heads, and watched as their wings flamed out to ash.

And there was only one thought she had going through her head.

_Castiel. Where is Castiel?_

It didn’t take her long to track down the boys. For one thing, Kansas was a liable choice to start looking. And for another, there were rumors about that strange, locked up place being renovated and becoming active for the first time in years.

_Too easy, Deano. Try being more subtle next time._

Sam looked shocked when he opened the door for her, and she flinched at how red his eyes where, how sad his face was, and how broken she could see that little soul inside him.

Dean said nothing when she came in, only slightly ignored her. And then there was Cas.

His halo was gone, he looked just like he did when they first met in Lucifer’s base. _Except those eyes,_ she thought. _They look nothing like him._

Castiel blinked at her, walked towards her, and hugged her with the most pathetic look on his face.

He told her about Metatron’s betrayal, about thinking she was dead, and about being human.

There was sadness and loss in his voice, until he told her the one thing she’d been waiting to hear for three years.

"Crowley is gone from Hell," he told her. "We actually have no idea where he is."

"He’s still alive?"

"Sam and Dean discovered a way to…cure demons. To cleanse their souls and make them mortal."

Meg was sitting across from him at the table, and he watched her shift uncomfortably. “Gotta say, Cas, it’s a little weird not seeing you cosplay as Columbo anymore.”

He looked down at the grey shirt and sweatpants he favored. “It’s…uncomfortable now.”

"So you go with depressed desperate housewife attire?" she was always soft with him, strangely. He liked the way she softened up for him, how she seemed curious about him and how she was always listening.

He smiled at her joke, not getting her joke entirely but still getting the concept. “I guess.”

"So, curing demons…How’s it work?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"It’s… interesting," she pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I was going to lay low, away from angels and demons, kill Crowley for almost killing me. But now he’s gone…and there’s no angels…no purpose. No Lucifer, what else is there but two idiots and a broken feather brain?"

He considered that. “Not much, I suppose.”

She tapped her nails on the table. “Clarence… Cas,” she corrected herself. “I have nothing left.”

"So you’re considering… curing yourself?"

"Why the hell not? It’s not like I’ve got things to do. And it beats dying. or torture."

Castiel sighed. “If you do this, you may have to be stuck with me. Powerless and in ruin. It’s not exactly the…most fun thing.”

"Who said being stuck with your ass was a bad thing?"

—

He took her to the same church they took Crowley. Dean said this whole thing smelled like a trap, even after Meg’s insisting, but he helped Cas set up shop, and chain Meg to a chair.

"Are the chain’s really fucking unnecessary?" she hissed as he clamped the final one around her neck.

"Watch your mouth, you’re in church," Dean’s absent mindedness he had with her was starting to irritate Cas. "So uh, about the blood…"

"I’m going to do it, Dean."

"You sound like Sam sometimes, you know that?" the hunter huffed, shooting a final look at the demon before leaving. "Call when you fix the bitch."

"Rude."

"Meg, not now."

"What did he mean by blood?" she asked, trying and failing at hiding the slight panic in her voice.

"In order to cure a demon, they must be injected with righteous blood," the ex-angel walked past her, turning to enter a confessions cubicle.

"Not to be a little pushy, Clarence," Meg called as he shut the door. "But I’m pretty dang sure that’s gonna take a while for you."

—

_The first injection_

"Shit!" Meg hated needles, mostly because Crowley liked to use them at times when he was torturing her. But Castiel was gentle, trying to pierce her vein.

"Meg, stop moving."

"Can’t I just drink it?"

"That’s not how it works."

She squirmed when he finally injected her, wincing at the slight pain.

"I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable."

"You’re doing a hell of a job there, Asshole."

—

_The third injection_

_  
_For some reason they started to hurt less. Maybe because her meatsuit’s skin was starting to numb, or because after every injection Cas seemed to get better at it.

"You shouldn’t be a doctor," she mused as he finished, turning to take a seat in the chair in front of her.

"I have no plans to."

"What are your plans?" she asked. "Find a lady friend, or a manfriend, what ever you’re into?"

He smiled slightly. “That’s what Metatron told me to do.”

"You’re gonna run off and be a cute little housewife?"

"I don’t know."

"You have to have some kind of plan?" she pressed. "Come on, human.You’re gonna waste whatever’s left of little Jimmy’s life on those two?"

"I don’t know how to be human, Meg," he said. "All I know is what they do, Sam and Dean."

"Point taken," she paused. "What about your old lady?"

"Pardon?"

"Emmanuel’s wife?"

She watched as he lowered his head. “Emmanuel isn’t who I am. I cannot be him, as much as I cannot be God, or Jimmy Novak, or even…Castiel the angel.”

"You’re taking this surprisingly well."

"I wish I wasn’t."

—

_The seventh injection._

It was getting dark, and Castiel was tired. He didn’t sleep the night before, instead he was pondering about his celestial family. How would he recognize them again? How would he know if they were even all alive?

_What little of us there are left._

"You know what amazes me?" Meg breathed, her sudden voice making Castiel jump. "Even after Meggy died, I don’t know why I kept that name. Maybe because that’s what stayed, how the boys recognized me, but even Lucifer called me that."

"You don’t seem to mind it."

"To be honest I don’t. And they never even asked me my real name. Not that it matters, I guess. Meg is me. I am Meg.

"You never asked me either."

"I never thought about it," he admitted. "I knew it wasn’t your name. But it was what came simplest.

"Naharra."

"What?"

"My name is Naharra," she was laughing slightly. "I’m like a fucking nursery rhyme for angels. The story of little Naharra who off and fell dead."

Castiel was silent.

"You name isn’t just Castiel either."

"I’m called several things in different places."

"I always thought Cassiel was awful," she mused. "The angel of Solitude and Sorrow of the Fifth Day. Too righteous."

He found himself thinking about that, Castiel, Cassiel, Clarence, Cas, Emmanuel Allen, even God. Names he didn’t know he had and didn’t know he wanted.

"Weird, how names are thought to define a person. All I get is bitch and whore.

"Even you’ve called me an abomination, once or twice."

"I’m sorry for that."

"Cute," she closed her eyes. "That an angel apologizes to a demon for calling her names."

He winced at the word “angel”, and she noticed.

"I’m sorry too, Clarence."

—

_The final injection_

She was _sleeping._ Castiel envied her, to be honest. They started late and ended late, Meg pressed back against the chair as he uncuffed her, watching her stir as he gently carried her in his arms.

"Castiel?" her voice squeaked.

"Yes?"

"How am I supposed to feel right now?"

"I assumed you would know more on that front than I would."

She said nothing but instead fell back asleep. With awkward movements he dug his cellphone from his pocket and dialed Dean’s number.

It was strange. He assumed Meg could have survived as a demon still, but she wanted this, and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why.

_Human._

_  
_—

_The next day_

_  
_Castiel had left her on the couch in the Lobby but was surprised to see her curled up under his arm when he awoke.

He almost didn’t remember falling asleep, and he most defiantly didn’t remember her coming in…unclothed.

She had her back pressed against him, her blonde hair was in a mess and her face was covered by her arm.

He wanted to move and the same time, he didn’t. He felt the circulation cut of in his arm under her head, but he ignored it, rolling closer against her and pressing his face against her.

Humanity wasn’t all bad.

At least he had someone to share it with.


	3. marry me

Castiel had struggled with the question for weeks.

He had seen TV shows, read books, and listen to songs all about that one question, and they made it so easy. They made it simple, and the more he thought about it the more it made him panic. 

It’s a simple question, he reminded himself. Do it

 

He had Sam take him to a local pawn shop, he still couldn’t drive, and still had no means to learn, and he could feel it staring at him like a cat wanting it’s pray.

"Are you sure?" Sam had asked on the drive back home, and Castiel didn’t have an answer then.

And I still don’t have one now.

He felt like Frodo from Lord of the Rings, a book series Dean had given him to try and curb the ex-angel’s depression, a reluctant ring bearer, and he could most defiantly feel it mock him from inside it’s tiny little red velvet box.

She wouldn’t be back soon anyway, and he had time to think it over.

But what if he never went through with it? That would be a burden, since he spent what little money he actually earned winning a poker game with Dean and a few other patrons at a bar (he assumed it helped that he truly didn’t know how to play), and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get that back. And the fact that he kept his plan in strict confidence, even to Dean and Sam.

Nervousness, it was a sensation he preferred to do without. 

And so instead he waited, until he heard the rumble of the Impala outside the front door several hours later.

She and Dean were arguing again, something he was used to now and Sam was watching therm bicker from the sidelines, occasionally stifling a laugh from his brother getting flustered by Meg’s clever comebacks.

"At least I didn’t get my ass handed to me again!"

"At least I didn’t turn into Daphne again in our little Scooby gang and get held hostage!"

"Meg I swear to God you’re lucky Cas is here because I would so-"

"So what, Winchester?"

It was the gist of their usual spats, the recently un-demoned woman, however, was more passive than aggressive, but she still didn’t let Dean get away with a lot of things, which Castiel admired.

Dean shot Meg an angry look before dumping his duffle on the floor and storming off to his room. “I’m gonna kill her!”

"Dean…" Sam called after him, hoping to cool his brother down.

"Well, now that that’s finished…" Meg hissed as she stripped off her jacket, the skin tight black tank top she wore doing little to calm Castiel’s nerves.

He liked that they’d built a relationship over the last few months, Meg was almost instantly adjusting to being human and it helped Cas figure himself out a lot easier. Both mentally and…well…physically.

"So you missed out on the hunt. Again."

"I was… preoccupied."

"With what? Castiel you haven’t left the bunker in days."

"Actually I have."

She gave him that look that made him shudder, the look where the former demon could tell that he was lying.

"Bullshit."

He swallowed. “Meg…I…”

"Clarence we talked about you talking fifteen years just to say a word."

"I got you something," he said sheepishly, Meg practically relishing in his embarrassment. "It’s…a thing humans do."

"If it’s not good sex I’m probably not going to be interested."

"It’s…" 

She huffed and turned away from him, Castiel cursing himself as she lost interest in anything he had to say.

”Meg…”

"What?"

He found himself fumbling over words, before he just dug the little red box from his pocket and thrust it at her. 

"What the hell is that?"

"I think I’m been asking the same question for a week."

She took it from him, still eyeing her former angel as she picked at the sides, prying it open and looking at it.

He expected her to yell at him, a usual thing she did when he was “being human”, but she was surprised when he saw her face.

"Castiel…"

"I thought it would…make things simpler?" Castiel tried his words, least he wanted to do was sully the moment, as he usually did.

"Are you fucking trying to propose to me?"

"This seemed much simpler when practiced with Dean."

She was looking at him, before a strange grin broke her face. “You sweet bastard.”

He smiled awkwardly, as Meg pressed against him fro the first time that night, before grabbing his chin, pulling him down and kissing him. 

"Is that a yes?"

"Why the Hell not?"


	4. Love me

Castiel swallowed. 

Today was the day. Today was the day he’d accomplish a goal, something he’d always been curious about, but knew he’d never get to.

Until now.

 

Dean was surprisingly supportive. Not that he didn’t expect his friend to be, but Dean had seemed honored when Castiel asked him to stand beside him. Sam, on the other hand, was a bit more concerned when Meg asked him to stand beside her. 

It was a small ceremony; neither of them had many friends outside Sam and Dean, and they didn’t want to do anything too extravagant.

But neither of them had experienced a this before, and so Cas was surprised when she wanted the traditional ceremony.

He also hadn’t seen her all day.

Concerned, earlier, he almost panicked, afraid that Meg had decided to cancel on him, but Dean helpfully assured him it was normal, that it was tradition, which helped soothe Cas’s worried soul.

Soul, strange to have a soul.

_"Castiel…"_

 It was the voices again. He heard them from time to time, usually when he was alone but now he could hear them as the tiny church readied for the wedding.

_Go away._

_"Cas…you need to wake up."_

_I am awake._

_"Cas please"_

_Don’t ruin this day._

They never fully responded to him, and there were nights he often tried to communicate to them,but not today.

_Not on my day._

And then he heard the music, and watched her walk in.

Castiel had always considered her beautiful, even when he saw her true face under her stolen skin. But he’d grown accustomed to her face, her essence, and now he was amazed at how she looked.

He’d been wondering where Sam had been taking her the past month.

When she stepped off beside him felt his stomach drop. Nervousness again, his most hated emotion.

_"Get him up!"_

The ceremony seemed to pass like wildfire, and next thing he knew he found himself in the backseat of the Impala, drunk, tired, and kissing his new wife.

"Hey, knock it off back there!" Dean hissed, afraid for his precious car as Castiel started kiss her harder. 

"Jesus Dean we’re not fucking," Meg muttered when she finally managed to get Castiel off her for a minute. "Not yet anyway."

"That’s nasty."

Dean dropped them off at a hotel Castiel had booked, Dean barking orders on how to get back home the next morning and Castiel too focused on Meg’s breasts to listen to him prattle on anymore.

Which was why it seemed they progressed faster than usual, he was already in the room before he knew it.

"You wouldn’t touch me for weeks before this and then you get drunk and hitched and now you’re all over me?" Meg asked as Cas helped her from her dress, she was a bit less drunk than he but overall the alcohol had a tipsy effect on her as well. She hadn’t felt that in a very, very long time.

"I was unsure how you would receive me," Castiel pressed his face on her chest, her clavical just under his nose. "You’re unpredictable."

"That’s how I roll," for some reason that made Castiel slightly uncomfortable, but Cas banished it.

“ _Cure…get…cure!_ " the voices stated again as Castiel lowered Meg on the bed.

"Shame," Meg mused as she slid down Castiel’s trousers  the ex-angel helping her absently with a blind hand. "You look nice in a bowtie. Should have traded that in for the tie years ago."

There was something powerful in sharing this with her; they’d had sex before but somehow it was something completely new, completely human.

The alcohol wasn’t a helper anymore, it was a hender, Castiel was starting to get that tired feeling. Meg, on her part, was amused by it.

"What’s the matter, Clarence? Ain’t got your-oh," she breathed when he slid into her, his blue eyes shut as he racked against her, his face planted in the nape of her neck. 

Meg gasped as she felt his hands trail down to her upper thigh, herlegs seeming to instantly wrap around his back. 

_"Sam!"_

Ignoring the frantic voices he was hearing again, Castiel shifted all his attention on Meg, feeling her under him and feeling the cut of her nails on his back. He wouldn’t be able to heal those wounds anymore, and he doubted he’d ever want to.

He felt happy for the first time in a long, long time.  _Since I thought I was going to save Heaven…_

"Jesus, Cas," Meg sad suddenly.

"Not exactly, though maybe better."

—

He awoke, for the first time in a long time, rested.

He was flat on his back with Meg on his chest, and absently he was scratching at the purple swell she left on hi neck.

All and all, he was delighted with his life.

_And there’s still a little bit more left of it…_


End file.
